A thread for odes - please add yours

  • I have permission from Alan Smith to post some odes.

    Evaporating buckets you say?

    Really? The whole thing in a day?

    This sounds too good to be true

    A bucket out of the blue!

    LENR up, up and away!

    I've been meaning to change the last line but could not think of anything better.

    Alan did a brilliant one but I will not post as it is not mine to post. Please do add yours.

  • There once was a man in a warehouse

    Who made a megawatt space heater

    Out of faucets and fans and pumps and pipes

    And nickel and platinum and glue.

    He made all the measurements himself each day

    so that the independent expert wouldn't need to.

    • Official Post

    The art of cold fusion

    Is not an illusion

    Though some would say 'it's all crap!

    To practice the craft

    Might seem somewhat daft

    And springs the reputational trap

    But such is its lure

    That even the pure

    Want LENR put on the map

    The truth is, of course

    That this energy source

    Puts the skeptics all in a flap

    At times it's a war

    Who can insult more?

    Or deliver the hardest slap?

    But I just don't care

    Tho I sometimes despair

    My patience will suddenly snap

    So I burn tmidnight oil

    And palladium foil

    All I need is a hydrogen tap

    To make this complete

    Would be rather sweet

    I will close the energy gap.

    • Official Post

    Or in a more 'modern' style.


    Tachyons, smelling of mercury and dust, twist and shimmer in the glittering darkness, moving from then to now.

    Homeless neutrinos whine, frolicking like puppies in corners of the vacuum chessboard, each looking for a charm.

    Somewhere a bass rumble, echo of a star giving birth.

    Nothingness shakes and mutters, sliced and pierced by magnetism's sword into discrete slivers of time.

    They rattle and bang, each sliding cold as ice into an electrons heart, labelled with a name but nameless.

    Phonons scutter like rabbits, each looking for a hole to hide in, as tormented nuclei glide past like ships.

    Their unlit portholes reflect distant unknowable fires as broken particles swivel, compass-like, toward them.

    A man in a white coat shakes his head. Nothing to see here, let's move along.

  • The Experimenter

    The dark carpets stained with deliquescent dirt,

    indelible fusty runes on delapidated drapes,

    there, proximate and solitary, the dancer dies.

    A pane of light, one corner crazed as baby blobs of spilt mercury,

    reveals crepescent azure sky.

    Without, the secret sleeps in curious fitful rest. Dis-ease a

    a much misunderstood sillhouette against the grasping talons

    of birds winged with freight of unknown loves and distant loss.

  • I wish I was a lecturer,

    At a university,

    All that free time to post on the net,

    In term time too - apparently.

    It's almost like a second job,

    Allegedly done for no cash,

    It's the trademark of a fanatic,

    Or a shill for British Gas!

    Do his bosses know his post-count?

    His last class pushed to the brink,

    Nine grand of debt per year for them,

    To be told what to think.

    Those idiots should realise,

    He'd do it all for free,

    Just don't say he's "unbalanced",

    Or tell the faculty.

  • In a case of palace intrigue,

    The great dictator once held the floor,

    Till he abdicated to an upstart young princeling,

    Who has gone and styled himself 'Abd-Mi Nor'.

    That's because they both love North Korea,

    A place where you can get shit done,

    When there's no pesky moderating voices,

    If you've risen to be favourite son.

    I guess the doxxings have all been forgiven,

    And you are "clearly a pseudoskeptic" no more,

    All His edicts and decrees have been issued,

    So umpteen more thousand words will soon pour...

    ...Dear Leader has wrote more than Stalin and Mao!

    Excluding their letters, that's certainly true,

    You can even include books by Gaddafi and Duce;

    All ego-less fools - when compared to you.

    But I've noticed your thousand-year empire,

    Seemed at one point, to be lacking some pride:

    When your regime's patronage network corrupted,

    Into a Floridan summer-holiday funding drive.