What highly disturb me is the fact that all nucleus thinkers have absolutely no special or only own ideas about how the total universe was made and currently shaped.
We humans are dimensionally restricted beings unable to see the "real world". The real world can never be expressed by math. Try once to understand the Gödel theorem.
So you have to accept that you never will know/understand/master etc. most things and must be proud to survive in your small garden to use the words of a great French author.